Arrgh! The last shopping day before the party.
Still not a fancy kitten heel shoe in sight, although I do have a new lust for life, passion and the longing to be in the muscular arms of a hunky woman-lovin’ man. This is due to the following:
Seeing that bastard ex of mine in a brand new car, possibly gained through illegal means (ie.by pimpimg his nanny-whore).
Having to constantly witness blatent displays of raw masculine talent in a police uniform.
The hell bent desire to at least make it to second base with a delicious man (other than Eric) before I turn 35 (or at least have someone want to make it to second base with me).
Also Lily was really annoyed with me because I baked a cake for the uniformed hunk and generously sprinkled it with horny goat weed (despite it’s aphrodisiac qualities this wasn’t my intention). I only baked it to welcome him and make him feel accepted and wanted in the neighbourhood. Despite my good intentions, Lily said it was a really try hard thing to do(what would she know in the ways of the world, she’s only 10).
Also I’ve set a very strict agenda for this afternoon: Shopping for shoes, relaxing facials and half a bottle of wine to prepare myself for any worthy bachelors I may meet tomorrow night.
1 comment:
Damnit hoe!
Lily was RIGHT bitch! Just like with the wonder bra! CHeck with me on these things before you go making cakes for hunky police men!
You SHOULD have given him very SLOPPILY made cookies or CUPcakes and said LILY wanted to make him something!!!
GOD!
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